ABSURD TO SUBLIME

Humor columnist offers comments on arrest of a Real Housewives star.
from the OCRegister:

Slade, Slade, Slade. You probably heard that Slade Smiley was arrested last week on a “civil contempt charge.” Generally speaking it means he has failed to pay something he was ordered by the court.
It turned out it was for allegedly failing to make child-support payments. We also know that someone posted a hysterical entry into a blog about Slade dating “Real Housewife” Gretchen.
For those lucky enough not have caught any of these “reality” shows with Slade and Gretchen, let’s get you up to date. Slade, portrayed in Season One of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” as this super rich guy with a young girlfriend, moved out of his foreclosed house in Coto and ended up in a house rented for him up in LA as part of new “reality” show called “Date My Ex.”
I put “reality” in quotes because virtually everything you see in the shows are paid for by the show to make you think these are rich people when, in reality, it is often not the case.
For example, they depict one of the Real Housewives as “hiring” a celebrity chef winner from another Bravo show for a lavish dinner party. I would guess that the odds that the “Housewife” actually paid for any of that as about the same as both you and your mom winning different Lottos last week and donating it all to the SPCA.
Meanwhile, Gretchen is a “Real Housewife” who was portrayed as being engaged to another “rich” guy that was sick with leukemia.
I have no idea if he was “really” rich, but I do know Gretchen tried to rent a Coto house from a friend of mine last summer. Gretchen told my friend she “was cast as the newest housewife on The Real Housewives of Orange County and the show was going to pay for her to rent a house in Coto for a few months so they could pretend she was living there.”
So, it is against this deceiving backdrop that a person going by the name of Photoglou blogged last week. You understand why we don’t “really” know if any of this is true. But just imagining it is true is funny.
Photoglou claimed that he was living with Gretchen Rossi in Costa Mesa. But, Photoglou says he moved out since Gretchen was going out with – you guessed it – Slade Smiley! Ah, love.
Photoglou wrote: “When I went to pick up more clothes on Wed Feb 18th Slade’s car was in the driveway. I know Gretchen well so I called the police dept to do a civil asst…”
Wow, he is making it sound like little Gretchen is one tough cookie. Maybe she’ll end up in the sequel to “The Wrestler” with Mickey Rourke.
Then, after the police show up: “So I proceeded to enter the house, as I did I saw there was Slade’s wallet, shirt, jacket, shoes and car keys were in plain sight. The officer and I then heard footsteps upstairs. But Slade and Gretchen would still not come out of her room.”
Now, you have to wonder why Slade Smiley took off everything but his pants until he was upstairs, in the dark. Maybe the girls that have seen him naked call him “Slade Laugh-out-loud?”
And lastly “The officers did not tell me but I over heard them say he has a suspended License and a fake tag on his unregistered car as well as a warrant for $10,000 out of LA county.”
Sounds like Slade might be riding his bike for a while.
Poor Gretchen. Her new “rich” guy ends up in the slammer. At least Slade has “reality” TV. Only now the show is called “Date My Ex-Con.”