Big Brother 13 Finale: Goodnight Sweetheart, Goodnight

by Guest Blogger EllaMentry

Can anyone believe our summer of guilty pleasure is coming to an end tonight? Let’s reflect a moment, shall we? Through 28 episodes we watched with glee and a mixture of horror as the HGs battled it out in the backyard and backstabbed their way through the game. Considering this game does include a measure of deceit involved, nothing should have shocked the viewers.

Fans have their favorite loves/hates and tune in each installment to root for their HG of choice. Adam finally won HOH after Rachel turned out Kalia. Jordan gave our chatterbox a sympathy vote in hopes it would translate into a jury vote for her. At the end of the day and Adam’s short reign the remaining ladies would only be safe if they controlled the veto vote. Although Adam promised Jordan and Rachel he’d take them to F3 if it’s within his power to do so, Jordan isn’t convinced. Though Porsche and Jordan land on the block, it’s Porsche who takes the coveted POV medallion in the jukebox challenge and removes herself from danger. Rachel continues to campaign. Jordan’s approach is different. She resigns herself to her fate in that she’s a goner because she’s quite aware Porsche doesn’t care for her and our Miami Vice waitress has the sole eviction vote. Jordan tells Rachel, “Don’t cry.” Rachel dusts herself off and states her case to Porsche, who enjoys her moment in the sun, along with the flattery.

Inevitably, Jordan walks through the doors to chat with Julie Chen. She is met with a standing ovation. After professing she harbors no ill feelings toward anyone, Jordan exits the building.

The HOH competition takes the form of a giant mixer, with each HG standing on a blade. Round and round they go being dipped in and out of an above ground pool filled with what looks like cake batter.

Six days later, we rejoin Adam, Porsche and Rachel in the final round of this summer’s crusade to win $500,000. As the F3 spin and bob in the Big Brother vat, it becomes evident Adam is beginning to quickly fade. Spinning like a slow top is making even this viewer nauseous. Porsche admits her shoulders hurt. Rachel goes into Zen mode and blocks everything out. Within the first 30 minutes or so, Adam ends up in the soup. Endurance and physical competitions have not been his strong suit, to put it gently. The women continue to hang on and don’t have much to say for the next 20 minutes. Porsche can’t cut it and drops out, leaving Rachel victorious in part one of this summer’s last bid for HOH. This means Porsche and Adam go up against each other in part two.

We find another water challenge for part 2. Each contestant must dive thru a tank, grabbing pictures of former HOHs and putting them in order through an underwater maze. Porsche is exhausted holding her breath and trying to figure out the puzzle. Adam makes a grave error by tossing his goggles away and is forced to spend time retrieving them. Rachel reveals the times disclosing Adam’s at 6:05. Porsche wins with 3:50.

Back in the JH Kalia swings by, followed shortly by Jordan. The newly evicted HGs recap their games and the conversation turns to the F3. Dani is adament Rachel should walk away empty handed and Shelly concurs. Kalia makes a couple points in Rachel’s favor, but counteracts her stance by saying Porsche is worthy, too. Adam doesn’t fare as well. Only Shelly backs his play. Kalia defends her own game strategy once again, but Jeff isn’t buying it. She’ll keep to this story “til the cows come home.“

“The cows have come home,” retorts Jeff. Kalia doesn’t take kindly at his jab and refuses to budge. Maybe she’ll be awarded America’s Favorite Houseguest as a consolation prize.

We go to commercial and return to the third and final task between Porsche and Rachel. No surprise, it’s a question challenge. The ladies must guess what other HGs reply to questions given by Big Brother. Rachel leads 2-0 with only one question left. Therefore it’s game over. Rachel was not only the first BB13 HOH, she’s the last HOH. Naturally, she bursts into tears, but this time the waterworks are based on joy. The feisty redhead must now choose who will face her as the final two contestants. Will she honor her deal with Porsche, or go with Adam who may be easier to beat in the long run?

After Porsche and Adam give their last pitch to the HOH, Rachel, still emotional sadly evicts Adam. She admits she had a final two deal with Porsche and intends to hold to her word. In his exit interview, our Hoboken metal head agrees she made the right choice because if she’d taken him, he’d have won the whole enchilada. The audience got a good laugh out of that one and more than one home viewer rolled their eyes.

We return to the introductions of cast off cast members. When Adam enters, Brendon leaps out of his chair with delight, knowing Rachel is still inside. The interrogation portion of the show includes standard questions like, “Why do you deserve the $500k?”

Brendon begins by asking Rachel about the claims she was hurtful to others, should her behavior impact her chance to win? Rachel apologizes if she ever harmed anyone, but her game was based on being a constant target and always going for the win, not the jugular. Jordan puts the next question to Porsche, who responds she felt her social game was as good as anyone’s. It wasn’t her fault she had a Golden Key. Back and forth they go with both convinced they have the right to the crown.

After the final requests for votes are made, the ousted seven take their turns to place their keys in the HOH box one last time. Brendon speaks of his love toward his finance and Dani takes a parting shot at Rachel, mentioning it’s a good thing this gig wasn’t a personality contest. This gets a good laugh. The wild card is Adam. He speaks to Rachel, but is more interested in his assertion he would have won the game had X,Y,Z not happened. He also plans to win when he comes back for All Stars. Hint hint!

After the break, the first evicted HGs drop by to put in their two cents worth. Evel Dick puts Dani in the hot seat due to her decision to throw grease on the fire and breaking up the vet alliance too early. He also thinks she messed up by evicting Jeff too soon. Christmas should be fun at their house this year. Cassi realizes Shelly had her fooled, but doesn’t begrudge her strategy. Kalia repeats her stance that she played her own game and Dani is not her master. Jeff admits both he and Dani have strong personalities and er…ummm… Yeah, he doesn’t like her.

We move on to the last vote of Season 13 and it breaks down like this:

Brendon Rachel

Dani Porsche

Jeff Rachel

Shelly Rachel

Kalia Porsche

Jordan Rachel

Adam Not that it matters, but he voted for Porsche

Rachel Reilly is beside herself and one more time for the cameras, flies into the studio jumping into Brendon’s arms. Her tenacity and take no prisoner style put her over the top for the win. Porsche comes away with a respectable second place spot and $50k. Not bad for a single summer’s work.

In a final bit of business, Julie Chen announces the winner of America’s Favorite Houseguest is none other than Jeff. This is his second success in that category. Congratulations to him.

CBS has announced Big Brother will return next summer after this season’s ratings soared.

Finally, to those who’ve been kind enough to follow along with me, a huge thanks. It’s been a blast, but it’s not over yet. Articles, interviews and photos will be posted from the Vegas Bash, coming up this weekend. If you love Big Brother, stick around for a few more days.

To Absurd2Sublime, a very special thank you for allowing me free rein on a very special website. I would love to do it again! XO

Wow, what a season!

It was a pleasure having you, EllaMentry!

To read all of EllaMentry;s recaps, go to the Big Brother 13 category at the top of the page