Big Brother 13 Episode 27: You’re Going To Need A Bigger Boat

By Guest Blogger Ellamentry

Ok BB groupies, hopefully tonight’s show will be filled with all kinds of drama and intrigue. Porsche and Kalia are slated for eviction. Adam swears his allegiance to Jorchel, but this is Big Brother and anything can happen. Though taped yesterday, this POV/eviction show has been highly anticipated. That may be due to coming down to the nitty gritty, or due to the fact CBS shut down the live feeds yesterday so no one would spill the bean. FYI CBS, that didn’t work, but I digress.

Kalia and Porsche discuss the possibility of Adam winning POV and taking one of them down, replacing the empty chair with Jordan, thus giving the newbies the opportunity to vote her out. Kalia is worried. Porsche is looking cool and calm. Jordan checks in with Adam who promises her for the millionth time, everything is kosher. At this stage of the game, paranoia is running rampant within the thin soundstage walls.

We head out to the veto competition to be greeted by Otev, this time in the form of a giant sweet-toothed shark. The HGs must find pie plates that match the clues Otev recites. They must scrape the confectionary fillings out to reveal the names, scramble back up the slippery ramp and like musical chairs the last to arrive is out. Naturally, Jordan fulfills this role immediately. She takes a seat and attempts to figure out why a shark would want to eat pie that isn’t filled with fish.

Rachel fails next and the veterans’ only hope is Adam finally winning a competition that isn’t thrown his way. In fitting fashion Kalia follows Rachel after she can’t find the peanut butter and Jeff pie. Damn that Jeff. She’ll always be linked to him in some form or fashion. Kalia begins to cry, which amuses Rachel. No surprise there. With Adam and Porsche in a head to head final round battle, Porsche makes it to the top first before she realizes she’s grabbed the wrong pie and runs back down the hill to locate the correct one, but she’s too late. Adam takes the win. He’s happy and proud. Kalia is miserable and dejected. She puts her acting abilities into action in the DR via a woe-is-me rant, complete with appropriate facial contortions, but sans tears. Don’t give up your day job Kalia. The Bold and the Beautiful already booked Cassi.

After the break, we head to the jury house as the first three residents anxiously await the next loser. Collectively, they soothe the savage beast with cocktails. Shelly shows up and within minutes Jeff confronts her, asking what happened, why did you go all Benedict Arnold on me? Shelly tries to explain her side of things. Big Jeff avoids the woolen cap she tries to shove over his eyes. They engage in a tussle of words and nothing is resolved. Shelly breaks the tension by offering up the latest DVD of Tori Spelling and the Magical Mystery Tour. After the viewing, Shelly tells the gang she offered everything under the sun to Jorchel, in a bid to stay and protect her, but still ended up low man on the totem pole. Now we know Shelly was just blowing cigarette smoke Jorchel’s way as she came to win it all, but the JH members are not privy to this little tidbit. Regardless, Jeff isn’t buying, renting or borrowing a word of it. Shelly claims she’s an awesome player to which her new nemesis replies, “Apparently not.” Enough said about the rules of engagement. With Shelly, there are no rules, not even in the JH. She’s still operating as if America didn’t witness her antics. Whatever works.

Upon returning to the main house we find Kalia talking to herself in the loo. It’s the only place to hide. Somehow she’s actually able to pace in that water closet. Down yet not out, she corrals Adam and pressures him into seeing things her way. Kalia credits herself as one who can sell ice to an Eskimo, though in this instance it may be more like marketing ice to Edward John Smith, infamous Captain of the RMS Titanic.

At the veto meeting, Adam pulls through for Jorchel by refusing to apply it. Kalia’s face displays a sense of shock, or was that more of an indignant glare? Either way, we are headed to Eviction Town. Porsche tells each person something kind. Kalia on the other hand, slams Adam, telling him to play like an all star instead of a super fan. She finishes with, “Vote for me, see you at the top!”

Jordan casts the first ballot and chooses to evict Porsche. Is this a ploy to garner favor with Kalia down the road? Is Miss Belle continuing to play the social game? Maybe she just tossed her a pity vote. Adam evicts Kalia and Julie Chen announces Rachel must break the tie.

It takes the HOH no time at all to give Kalia the boot. Our writer/actress/model/space shuttle commander/singer will now grab a limo ride to a hotel for the night, to be followed by a short stint in the JH.

We switch to the HOH game where the HGs, minus Rachel must answer true or false questions based on the all-nighter session held with the Fortune Teller late during the wee hours. She woke them time and again throughout the night, zinging the HGs with predictions, such as Jeff in a few years, will be found wandering Chicago streets muttering, “clown shoes.” Remembering the exact wording is extremely important and difficult to do when you are suffering from sleep deprivation. Adam, Mr. MindLikeASteelTrap wins the day and his first HOH key. Our next episode will cover everything from HOH nominations through to the next eviction ceremony.

For those who have followed the Big Brother game throughout its many seasons, you know the final four isn’t so much about who is safe as HOH, but who wins the veto. The next POV competition will be the most important of Jordan, Rachel and Porsche’s BB lives. There is zero room for error. To solidify a place in the final three, winning the veto is crucial.

Adam is automatically in the final three as HOH. It’s a reasonable guess, should Rachel or Jordan be victorious, one will save the other. If Porsche wins, will she keep Jordan or Rachel? What would you do for $500,000?