Big Brother 13 Episode 21: The Iceman Cometh

Like Eugene O’Neill’s character, Theodore Hickman, our current HOH, Jeff Schroeder is causing havoc in the rooming house and saloon. Until this week, the residents have meandered obliviously throughout the property. This lackluster season has shown brief signs of liveliness with Shelly’s double sided shenanigans and the obvious disdain between Rachel and Dani, oh wait, make that Rachel and Shelly. It’s difficult to keep up with the cattiness. Yet for the most part this season remained mundane – until now.

Porsche and Kalia are on the block. Jeff makes a deal with Dani to not put her up for eviction and carries through with his end of the bargain, regardless of the anger he harbors over Dani’s attempts to evict him on more than one occasion. Both nominees, heads spinning are unsure about what to do next. Eventually, the campaigning begins in earnest.

Porsche sees herself as a more dangerous player in the game, regardless of the fact she’s not won a single competition. Kalia knows she’s a tough cookie (pun intended) and can’t imagine anyone wanting to keep Porsche around. In the background, Dani is trying to figure out whether or not to blow the veto competition, which she has hinted to Jeff. Dani wants to remain safe and deep down she’s afraid she’ll be the replacement, regardless of Jeff’s comforting words, so she struggles with going all out for the win, keeping herself safe and saving Kalia vs. doing Jeff’s bidding.

Rachel goes out of her way to antagonize Dani throughout the day and it’s effective. Dani’s tough exterior is showing signs of cracking to Rachel’s amusement. It’s payback for evicting Brendon not once, but twice! Dani’s birthday week doesn’t seem to be shaping up very well. She’s on slop and potentially at risk of having to face Brendon in the jury house. Will the HOH take pity on her and give her the bestest birthday gift of all times, safety?

Jeff announces it’s time to choose the POV players. Seven out of eight will participate. Dani is playing automatically since she won a free ticket last week. Rachel is the odd man out and she’ll be acting as host.

Jordan finally gets to strip off her humilitard and she does so with a Gypsy Rose Lee flair to the delight of her boyfriend. Adam’s pretty stoked, too, which is kind of icky. Still, there’s always a light moment in this house of what could be horrors.

Upstairs in bed, Jordan and Jeff debate the correct pronunciation of mischievous. They are watching Kalia and Dani in the kitchen on the HOH room feed and Jeff says, they’re being mis-che-fess. Jordan declares he’s wrong. It’s mis-cheeee-vious. They go back and forth and finally Jeff suggests his girlfriend may be right. “For the first time,” Jordan replies happily. High school teachers across the country are cringing at this exchange. Big brother fans, on the other hand, are rolling are rolling off their sofas.

After the break, Zingbot 3000 appears to share a bit of joy and a few zings with the HGs.

“Jeff, 1995 called. They want their soul patch back.”

“Porsche shouldn’t you be named after a car with a roomier trunk?”

“Shelly, what is someone who smokes, hunts and fishes? A DUDE!”

“Jordan, the reason Jeff hasn’t asked you to marry him is because he knows you are bad at answering questions. Zing!”

But, the coup de gras?

“Dani, do you own a car or are you still riding your daddy’s coattails? ZING ZING!”

Oh, that one hit a nerve and from her facial expression, Dani is less than amused.

The group heads out to the backyard to find the makings of a fembot they must build with large puzzle pieces, creating a bride for the Zingbot. The players don lab coats and get to work. This looks like about a 20 piece puzzle and third graders would have made short work of the project, putting these competitors to shame. While they jamb their fembots together, we move to the DR where the HGs zing each other. As usual, Jordan ends up zinging herself. This young lady is perfection when it comes to comic relief. Jeff wins the day, much to Kalia, Porsche and Dani’s dismay.

Now people are getting nervous. Jeff has a reason to go after both Dani and Kalia. He has a long memory and isn’t beyond holding a grudge. As to Porsche, he’s just irritated with her do nothing attitude. Jeff, Adam and Shelly gather and talk strategy, though Jeff refuses to say what he plans to do with his new gained power. This joint has a habit of leaking secrets through the walls so he’s keeping his decision neatly tucked into his hip pocket.

Porsche and Jeff meet up in the kitchen where she tries to strike a bargain for a one-week deal. Take me off the block and if I win HOH, I won’t put you up. This is the standard Big Brother contract. Jeff says he’ll consider it, leaving her dangling. Kalia does not fare as well. In the HOH room, she makes her case by backpedaling. I knew you’d be safe the time I put you on the block. I knew you’d win the POV, etc. It’s the same song and dance he’s heard before. She also believes she’s earned the right to stay because Porsche hasn’t done a gall darned thing since the day she walked through the door.

Finally, Dani and Jeff have a sit down and she suggests he get rid of Porsche and let’s make a final three deal. Sound familiar? Dani claims each time she’s given her word, she’s kept it. Jeff knows this is untrue, but is wearing his poker face so Dani can’t read him. That’s got to be frustrating. Every other week, HOHs have been cutting deals left and right. Not Jeff. This is his HOH and no one is going to tell him what to do. Let’s just call it a big ‘ol stuffed piñata surprise swinging in the breeze.

The veto ceremony commences and Jeff ponders whether to get rid of floaters as he’s threatened in the past or rid the house of his strongest competitor, Dani. For her part in the DR, Dani promises to destroy Jeff if he dares choose her as a replacement nominee. Ultimately, Jeff removes Porsche from the block and sends Dani to the hot seat. She’s blatantly furious.

“Let the good times roll…. Shocker!” she snipes as she takes her position. One thing Dani is not and that’s subtle. She’s already made up her mind to stay put. How will she accomplish this with Jordan, Rachel, Adam and Shelly squarely in the JeJo alliance?

The next episode will tell, on top of which a double eviction will be held. This is going to spice things up. Should Dani pack her gear? Who will Porsche campaign for? Should Kalia feel a sense of relief because her bestie is a major threat to the opposition and should be the ultimate target?

We’ll know soon enough!

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