Brother 13; Episode 20: Sloppy Birthday to YOUUUUUU!

Guest Blogger EllaMentry

dani

After a quick recap of Brendon’s demise, we meet up with the remaining HGs. The grudge match between Dani and Rachel is coming to the forefront. There is zero love lost between these two rivals.

Back at the competition, the players struggle to keep their feet. Down goes Porsche, followed by Jordan and Porsche again. Everyone takes at least one tumbe and Jeff swallows a few bubbles, but perseveres, gagging all the way. Jordan completely disappears under the white stuff and Jeff fishes her out. Dani jeers Kalia on with hurry up you’re too slow kind of cheerleading, which irritates the crap out of Kalia. Adam gets the crash of the day. We could even hear a distinct thud. Can we get that again in slow motion please? On and on they go until Jeff’s ball gets to the top. He struggles to grasp it and after one and one half hours is victorious. Jordan and Rachel are stoked since this means a one-week reprieve. Though Jordan wasn’t freaky worried, Rachel has a target the size of the continental US on her head and Dani’s warship looms near.

The team lines have been drawn. Dani, Kalia and Porsche versus Jeff, Jordan and Rachel. Shelly and Adam have both sworn their alliance to JeJo, but their social game has been suspect. They hang out with both sides and seem to be quite comfortable doing so. While schmoozing with the bad girls clique, Shelly calls Rachel “such a bitch” and is determined to convince JeJo to dump Red. Shelly attempts to push Rachel’s buttons (and let’s face it, she has more than a computer keyboard) in hopes her nemesis will flip out and self-destruct.

Kalia seeks Dani’s advice since she knows she’s in a predicament. Dani’s happy to help and Kalia can’t seem to grasp Dani’s in this for the win. She has something to prove to her father. If Kalia goes out this week, fine by her. You just want to reach out and slap Kalia with an, ‘Excuse you, you mean like the last time when you put Jeff on the block? How’d that work out for ya girl?’ But, but… she didn’t mean to, she was using him as a pawn and knew he’d win the POV to protect himself. Honest! Ok, fine, Dani made me do it, honest! Once again, the plot to push Rachel onto the block is discussed. Suffice to say, Rachel had better be on her best behavior if she wants to stick around. Jeff has made it abundantly clear he isn’t going to take her histrionics any longer.

Jeff shows off his HOH room and everyone Ooo’s and awe’s over the letter from his niece Marley. Jordan helps herself to the HOH’s Lucky Charms cereal and everyone heads downstairs, but for Rachel. She chats with JeJo while the rest of the crew spit imaginary nails at her. Shelly in a snit about who knows what, storms upstairs to tell Rachel off. She accuses Rachel of talking behind her back, but there is no evidence of this. She also tells her there isn’t enough room for the both of them and threatens to kick her out of the alliance. Jeff shuts Shelly down immediately, they are both on this team so quick talking crap on each other and let’s move on, OK? Guess that didn’t work out as planned Ms. Shelly. Is it me, or is our mom of the year nervous that JeJo are becoming fond of her arch enemy, possibly leaving her out in the cold? Let’s not forget, it was Rachel that blew Shelly’s cover as a double agent.

We move to a scene where Shelly comes across as an ignorant woman in the variety of foods available throughout the country, never mind the world is concerned. Possum she understands, Comice pears, not a chance. This segues to the Have Not gift card. Hardboiled eggs and jalapenos are the fare of the week and the HOH get’s to choose the lucky three recipients. Dani, Porsche and Kalia are designated. Dani gripes about the fact her birthday is right around the corner and she’s on slop? How dare that Neanderthal?

Kalia meets up with Jeff and tries to convince him Rachel has been saying some nasty stuff about he and Jordan. Jeff isn’t buying it and doesn’t respect those who can’t own up to their own deeds. Besides, he warned Kalia when she suggested he was going up a couple weeks back that she would become target numero uno. Kalia knows she’s probably screwed, for now anyway. If Dani ends up on the block she may have a chance to escape elimination, but at this point, that’s a big ‘if.’

In the back yard, Jeff apologizes for putting the birthday girl on slop and she’s cool with it. They cement their don’t put me up deal and Dani promises if she wins the veto she won’t use it. In turn Jeff agrees he won’t use her as a replacement nod. Regardless of their cordial conversation, Dani is visibly worried. Next up is Porsche who for the first time in 49 days, actually talks game with Jeff and begs for her life.

JeJo discuss strategy as they munch from Jeff’s HOH basket. Neither have any faith in Dani. Jordan figures she’s got something up her sleeve. The discussion is left with the knowledge one of the three amigas will be headed out the door. For now, that’s good enough.

As the Nomination ceremony begins, the HGs revisit their own game play and ponder their fate. Jeff pulls Rachel’s name as the first key, delighting her as Shelly’s face nearly melts off her skull. Next up is Shelly, Adam, Jordan and finally Dani. Jeff tells Porsche she needs to prove she’s here to play and get herself off the block. As for Kalia, how’s it feel biotch? He wishes them both luck and congratulates the HGs for being in the final eight as they sit around a much smaller kitchen table.

Dani is relieved, but not convinced she’s in the clear. Kalia’s plan is to lay low. Porsche realizes it’s time to step up. In a final DR, Jeff lets us know, it’s Dani he wants gone and feels his plan is on target.

Will Kalia and Porsche’s next move be to go take a nap? (They do tend to sleep all day). Or, will they turn into the Snitches of B’Beastwick and come out swinging to avoid the chopping block? Who else can they throw into a pit of alligators in a bid to save themselves? Who will win the POV this week?

With the double eviction coming up this Thursday, it’s going to get exciting! Don’t miss it!

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To see all of EllaMentry’s recaps, click Big Brother 13 at the top of the page.