The show is titled “The Real Housewives Confess: Watch What Happens Special.”
The ladies are seated on couches, and Cohen is situated in the middle. The housewives are dressed to impress: Tamra Barney of Ladera Ranch is wearing a maroon dress; Vicki Gunvalson of Coto de Caza is wearing a blue top and a black skirt; Jeana Keough of Coto is in red; Gretchen Rossi of Costa Mesa is wearing a white and purple dress with a flower pattern; and newest housewife Lynne Curtin of Capistrano Beach is wearing a purple dress.
We don’t know the exact order of the questions and responses, but we can give you a general idea of what unfolds.
Cohen asks Gretchen about fiancé Jeff Beitzel’s passing. He died on Sept. 13, 2008 at age 54. It’s been four or five months now, she says. “His very last moments here on earth, I got to be right with him.” She battles back the tears. “He just wrapped his arms around me, and he told me, ‘I love you.’”
She says her parents showed up to the hospital, and told her she had to let go.
“I told him, ‘It’s OK to go, honey, it’s OK. We love you.’ And he took his last breath and he let go of me. So, it was extremely emotional for me.”
Cohen clarifies that Gretchen and Jeff never got married. “No, we did not,” Gretchen confirms. “I did not want to get married in a hospital room. It just wasn’t something that I wanted anybody to ever say I married him for the wrong reasons.”
Cohen turns his attention to Jeana. He asks the original housewife about visiting her family back in Wisconsin. Jeana recounts talking to her father and then says she had a “Lynne moment.” Cohen asks Jeana to explain what that means, and Jeana says she said something stupid to her father.
Lynne flinches. “Ow, that hurt,” she says. But Lynne brushes the insult off, and says, “I’m over it already. I’ve learned. I’m over it. It’s all right. It’s all good. I still love you baby.”
But as Jeana continues her story, it turns out that Lynne is not over it. She starts to cry like a baby.
“What’s going on, Lynne?” Cohen asks. “Are you OK?”
“Words hurt,” Lynne whimpers. “One little word is hurtful.” Awwww! Poor Lynne!
Cohen then puts Tamra on the spot. He inquires about Tamra’s seven-course “etiquette dinner,” describing it as a “dinner from hell.” Remember? It was the notorious evening when Tamra and Vicki conspired to get Gretchen “naked wasted,” and Tamra’s son Ryan almost hooked up with the voluptuous victim.
“What did you mean when you said you wanted to get Gretchen ‘naked wasted’?” Cohen asks.
“I don’t even know,” Tamra replies. “At that point, we had drank (sic) a lot. That was towards the end of the night. We were all drunk.”
She admits, “I was the most ashamed, the most embarrassed I’ve ever been in my entire life, and I can’t even make excuses for myself. What I did was wrong.”
Cohen pushes further. “It did seem premeditated. Why did you want to embarrass her?”
“I guess I’m a mean drunk,” Tamra says.
Cohen turns to Gretchen. “What went through your mind when you saw the episode?”
We can’t tell you her immediate response, but obviously she wasn’t pleased. When the topic of Tamra’s moral character comes up, Gretchen says, “When you got me naked wasted and said you wanted to make me do something stupid? That moral character?”
“Yeah, exactly,” Tamra says, nonplussed.
“When you sicked your son on me like that, that moral character?” Gretchen continues.
Tamra: “You’re a big girl, honey. You’re a big girl.”
Gretchen: “You’re a big girl too, and you’re trying to get another woman naked drunk.”
Tamra: “You’re such a (expletive) victim, aren’t you.”
Jeana gasps. “Jesus Christ, Tamra.”
Tamra: “You’re in cahoots, and I think it’s sick. I think it’s absolutely sick.”
Gretchen: “You really have got some balls. You really have got some (nerve).”
Tamra: “It’s the truth. It’s the absolute, 100 percent truth.”
Gretchen: “You really are reaching. You really are reachin’. You really are reachin’.”
Tamra: “The truth shall set you free, Gretchen.”
Gretchen: “Do you really hate me that much? Do you really have that many issues with me that you need to say the most ludicrous things I have ever heard?”
Tamra: “No, I think you’re a troubled girl.”
Whew! What are Tamra and Gretchen talking about? I think there’s some secret that Tamra thinks Gretchen is hiding. I’m not sure how much of that secret is revealed during this warm and fuzzy reunion episode.
Meanwhile, Cohen broaches the issue of the hottest housewife. We see clips from season four, with each housewife having her moment in the spotlight, each looking supposedly hot and desirable.
Cohen inquires about Tamra’s breast reduction. “They do look bigger,” Cohen observes.
But Tamra insists that she did get a reduction. She just got them moved up higher.
Then Cohen asks if Gretchen would get breast implants.
“Forever, I really wanted to get breast implants,” Gretchen says. “I think when you live in Orange County, it’s hard to notconsider doing it, ’cause everywhere you go, everybody has them, and they’re always just there.”
But Gretchen says since she’s been on the show, she’s feeling good about herself, and she’ll avoid the knife for now.
What else happens on this reunion show? Original housewife Lauri Waring Peterson returns. You may recall, she had to step out in December for family reasons.
She confesses that her son Josh is still in jail for drug-related convictions. Although avid viewers know from the season finale that he has since been released and is staying in a sober-living facility.
That’s all for now, folks! So what are you going to do now that “Real Housewives of Orange County” is finished?
Well, you can turn your attention to the awful, evil spinoff, “The Real Housewives of New York City,” which will air on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. Or you could read a book. Nah, just kidding!
Here’s your final option: You could be infinitely patient. Judging by the success of this past season, chances are good that we’ll have a season five of “Real Housewives of O.C.” at the end of this year or beginning of 2010.
‘ OCRegister.com
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